You are telling us a lot of this and need to do more showing of it. Have the
characters active and responding, not just thinking about what is occurring. The
voices of the characters aren’t different enough, which is why sections don’t
always make sense. Time frame seems too rushed. Word choice needs tightening up
as there are problems with what you are saying. Revise tense. The story still
doesn’t go anywhere or have a resolution. Where is the conflict? At the heart of
any narrative there must be conflict as that is what drives events along. There
is just not enough happening here to appeal to an audience. This never sustains
I think i'm going to drop extension 2 soon. I dread going to classes every thursday, my work remains untouched and i hate the subject matter now. I don't think i'll ever write a story ever again. No offense teach, but you've shattered my previous creativity and smushed it to bits.
According to her, it's highly probable i wont pass.
I wish i could be as super as sukhi when it comes to classwork.